“Never let the urgent stand in the way of the important.”
I was thinking of maintaining updates of the tales of my continued hospital saga and the encounters with the various obstetricians along the way; the horrors and the victories. A month by month recap… an overview of our public system this time ‘round. The ebbs and flows that come again with each scan, at each appointment. I was thinking of keeping an update of the back and forth between confidence and empowerment, and the many retreats to defeat and dread.
But the truth be told, I’m actually ok. The elation and frustration. The angst and triumphs. It’s all paving a way for something new.
“For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse.
So collapse.
Crumble.
This is not your destruction.
This is your birth.”
I’d heard time and time again that every pregnancy can be different. This one definitely doesn’t feel the same. Besides some bulging veins, aching hips and painfully stretching skin, a nose bleed here and there, dark rings under the eyes and an ever-present fog of tired (along with cleared skin, hallelujah!) I’m surviving quite unscathed. It’s incomparable.
Yes, I am huge. I’ve matched the 20kg surplus as I did last time, yet eating much less. How victorious. I’ve been asked on many occasions if I’m carrying ‘twins’ with predictions of, ‘you’re not going to last to your due date!’ Walking at any type of distance requires an extensive cooldown and recovery period, accompanied with wolf-like huffs and puffs. Dollops of insomnia so too rear its head at random intervals. The kicking at times is fierce, but welcomed.
“Edit your life frequently and ruthlessly. It’s your masterpiece after all.”
Besides the above, it has also been a time of upheaval. A peaceful upheaval. A detox. A purge. An elimination of clutter, bad clothes, bad habits, bad thinking. The egg shells that have plagued my steps have finally cracked, revealing the renewed resolve I garmented all those years ago. No more double-guessing. No more hollow skeleton. I think I’ve found my groove again. I care little for opinion or idle chatter. I have no time for flattery.
It appears that everyone is all too busy or all too tired. We all have things that ‘urgently’ require our attention. The constant pull, the good intentions without action. I think it’s time for a re-evaluation of what is truly important. It’s pausing and saying, “this will have to wait. I value different treasures in this world, even more than any time schedule” It’s mindfulness. It’s family. It’s people. It’s evaluating not only my priorities, but where I am prioritised in others. “Keep people who love you, motivate you, encourage you, enhance you; if a person does none of these, let them go.” or simply said “Sometimes you have to unfollow people in real life.” It’s finding peace, rest and most importantly, forgiveness, in where you are. To everything there is a season.
It’s life gold: “Never let the urgent stand in the way of the important.”
For the first time, I think I have felt sincere excitement for our impending arrival. This must be what normal people feel like. With a bit more scrubbing and a little bit more clutter removal, I may actually feel ready.
So here I am, signing off with my new-found assertion of control. Love it, or move along (do I still have any friends left?) I am mother, hear me roar.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” – John 14:27
The Mummy Wagon 