“The truth you store up in the silence comes back to you in the storm.”

Hush. It whispers. It breathes as stillness through the air. Its impending arrival can be felt, but not seen. So it begins.

He places his little hand on my tummy and affirms with such truth, “There’s a baby.” I glance back at him in astonishment. “What did you say?” He repeats with firm assurance, “baby”, as he climbs off the bed and continues with his usual morning ritual of cars and cartoons.

It’s Good Friday. I have no apparent baby bump, nor has there ever been any talk of ‘baby’ with the Little One.  Where did he get that from?

The hush slowly transforms into a distant hum. The echoing sounds of change resound like rested time. You can feel its imminent presence.

I hold on for two weeks in the hope that my child may possess the gift of prophecy; “From out of the mouth of babes…” The dates arrive and I’m left disappointed with my usual monthly arrival.

The light and clear are slowly consumed by the approaching darkness. The surrounds are warmed as the earth yearns for its fill. The contrast of nature’s welcome and evident resistance can be tasted through our senses. I can smell the rain.

I’m left confused as my monthly arrival abruptly ceases after 2 days. This is not normal.

I’m pregnant.

I can feel the strong gales and threatening flickers of lightening. The force intensifies as the thrashing of heavy drops begin to fall.

The storm approaches.

My relief and excitement at the blessing of a growing family is being tested. Am I really doing this again? Can I really do this again? What truths have I stored up over these last few years? The tides of fear and dread are threatening my resolve. Sometimes our biggest blessings are also our biggest storms to conquer.

It will happen again. It will all go wrong. Don’t rest in today. Live in tomorrow. Let your mind take control. You cannot, and you will not, find repose.

But instead, the truths begin to roar… The winds and rhythm of the rain lull me to ease. His voice is glorious in the thunder… as I remind myself, I am the storm.

“You cannot withstand the storm”. The warrior whispers back, “I am the storm.”