I’ve never really felt naturally maternal. Don’t get me wrong… I loved babies! Puppies, kittens, calves, piglets, you name it! A human baby? Cute! but only from a distance, please!

Human babies made me nervous.

“Do I want to hold your baby?”

Honestly…? No.

I’d always feel clammy and anxious about holding someone’s tiny bundle of joy. Most attempts I did have at nursing a new little life always resulted in the baby crying and myself… wanting to! They can smell the fear! Let me just say, you wouldn’t call me baby confident… or in any way baby literate! This indeed set me up to think that I was in no way naturally maternal.

I’ve always wanted children at some stage. It’s just one of those next steps in life, I guess. I did really like and enjoy children… once they were past that awkward baby stage… and not in restaurants… or cafes… or any public places for that matter. I had always assumed that after home ownership and more travelling… let’s say… when we’re in our 30s… that this magical maternal drive would kick in and we would just know we are ready!  At that time, we would all of a sudden develop and give in to the intrinsic primal instinct to fulfil our biological destiny of procreation and our lives would somehow be even more complete! In the meantime, I’m content being mummy to my furry babies, Mace & Ketut and trying my best to avoid the human kind…

My babies, Macey & Ketut.